It’s been a while since I’ve been paid to speak with complete strangers. Most recently, these conversations just happen and it’s exciting. Why? Because daily doses of small talk with strangers is uncommon and slowly being replaced with digital communications. We can comment on blogs, social networks, and sharing sites without ever seeing a person’s face or hearing the passion and inflections in their voice. While all this technology brings us closer together – spanning a network spread out across the globe, it also drives a wedge in our day to day conversations. All those communications courses did come in useful in my day to day after all. We studied the phenomenon I just described in great detail: globalization.
Technology-enabled communication and face-to-face interpersonal communication are two different animals altogether; a fact that most people seem to forget. It’s easier for some people to “speak” through texting and digital means. Conversation with strangers is invigorating for me and I was gently nudged back into it. There have been times when I’ve grimaced and winced at unrehearsed and inflexible talks. Here are a few tips that I find really help me stay in the sweet spot:
- Speak from the heart and with heart. Customer service shares this in common with public speaking. Being passionate shows and sells the points you’re making. It’s hard to fake real enthusiasm!
- Know what you’re talking about. Knowledge is power and knowledge is powerful. In order to have authority, you need to know your subject matter in detail and be an “expert” on it. Think about all the possible holes in your argument or possible questions that someone might ask you beforehand.
- Speak with conviction. Listen to Taylor Mali – conviction is powerful and it’s more persuasive than going maybe all the time.
- Be genuine. This is related to speaking from the heart, but it also has a lot to do with natural speaking patterns. Straight up memorization of a speech will only get you so far. It is unnatural and unnatural is a turnoff. “uhms” offer a rhythm that people can follow. If not “uhm”, then at least breaks in the flow of speech. This helps increase clarity and prevents you from chugging along way too quickly.
- Body language is important. Don’t be closed off, and the best way to do that is to just relax and speak like a stranger is your friend.
- Eye contact is crucial. A lot of people have difficulties with this one, but eye contact doesn’t necessarily mean straight up staring: that’s off-putting. Just look somewhere near the eyes or in between the eyes and you’re golden.
- Just like a successful powerpoint, use bullet points in your talks. Don’t drone on and on. Bullet points are outlines that you can work from to formulate tangents. They allow a great deal of flexibility and adaptiveness.
- Rehearse. The bullet points will give you structure and rehearsing those points will get you familiar with the general gist of things. Remember, you’re the expert. Skipping around and missing points isn’t usually a big deal, since they can be added as an aside at the very end.
- Be flexible. Not every person is going to react the same way to your script. Leave room for change – a rigid script restricts your entire conversation.
- Get input. In terms of engaging your audience, letting them in will help them retain all you had to say. You might even learn a thing or two from their reactions and thoughts.
- Learn and keep learning. You teach and you learn! It’s a two-way street. Also, reflect on everything. After all, that’s what I’m doing right now.
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